the occasional snow.

Today we had the occasional snowflake that fell in front of the hexagonal floor to ceiling windows of our sanctuary this morning. We had mostly ice and rain today. Not as much snow as was predicted which at least did not affect the christmas program for the evening.
Last night at our christmas concert, some attendees went in prior to when the doors were officially opened. They pre-boarded ahead of time. And we allowed them in even without their reservation ticket. But hopefully as with all church events, people found the real meaning of the season of the birth of the babe in the manger and that they realized the reality of Christ having paid for their sins. Hopefully, the right reservation agents were there to explain the Gospel well enough to those who sought Him that night. Ås in Noah's day, when the boat doors closed, people were out of luck with the flood. And the same holds true when people have to face God and he asks them, "What did you do with my son, Jesus."

The aroma of soap

I broke open the double pack of the Dove beauty soap bars that I bought as a promo for a $7 off my next shopping excursion of stop and shop. And poured out the last of the liquid detergents that I had. So now it is time to replenish the laundry detergent and continue to domesticate myself with the chores midway through the cleaning cycles of my maids.
My maids are Merry and it is always good to come home on a monday morning after a long day of work and to have clean surfaces for which to put more stuff on. And to smell the aroma and scents from their cleaning that sometimes gets left behind in the air in the process.
One cleaning that I need to take advantage of more is in the arena of prayer where I could do much better in bringing myself closer to Jesus. It is just a matter of opening the celophane of my heart into his and then the fragrant aroma of the herbs that the three wise men brought to Jesus for his gifts could enter into His life. And just like the woman who broke the alabaster jar over Jesus's head to prepare and anoint Him for his rough walk to the cross. And just like the fragrant scent of the lilies at easter and the pointsettas at Christmastime. All a reflector and reminder for the senses of the profound mysteries of the cycles of life and death around us.

Between the sounds of crunches and carillons

Today we got a little less snow than predicted, but with plenty of ice and snow mixed in. It is enchanting to walk within the snow for several minutes seeing the snowflakes dance diagonally and fall with their reflection hitting the surface below. Almost like that of water ballet artists.
Church bells could be heard ringing in the distance for the 5:30 mass and I had the privelege of hearing it since I came home a little earlier than usual with an early dismissal from work. The sound of the bells was comforting along with the gentle guidance from a passenger who helped get me off the bus and next to the fence for the walk down the street.

So to a good head start to a white merry Christmas.

Jesus meets Santa

Imagine the line.
In front are hundreds of children lined up
waiting for their chance to pay their annual visit to Saint Nick.
Children clinging to their mothers hands.
Dressed in their red and green outfits

with sugar plums dancing in their heads.

In their midst is a humble man,dressed in Gap Blue jeans.
long told of by sages of his time. Of the forecasters of CNN and the nightly weather shows.

The line was fast approaching the royal throne, elaborately upholstered, with the sides enamored and layered with red and gold bunting trim.
This humble man looked around and up at this festivity. Wondering who was this for.

He looked in front of the line. Paused. Saw the sign and the cash register. $29.95 for your own picture with Saint Nick. Humble man got out his wallet and dug around for his ID. "Sorry, sir, I must have left it at home." The cashier said," we must have an ID. Do you have any for us"
The line was growing behind him. He looked back and He heard some shouts in the crowd.
"Hey, mister, my child is sick. She needs a doctor." Humble man turned around and saw her in the crowd. The cashier listened to the music in the background resounding,"Peace on earth, good will toward men. Rejoice. Jingle Bells?

As the man approached Santa's throne, he looked at it. Dressed in red and green and gold. Red upholstery. He laughed out loud, "Merry Christmas, my dear child. What is your wish, my lad? " This humble man looked at Santa and said, "did you see my throne?" He continued,"I gave up mine several years ago to aid your fellow elves"
Santa looked puzzled. He chuckled, "my fellow elves, whom?"
Humble man said, "Look, have you not heard the christmas story. Of these angels that we have heard on high. With their wings unfurled. Of the star above the evening sky
looking down on the pilgrims traveling from afar.
Announcing the birth of the babe in a manger.
The ringing of bells from sleighs.
And,...
Santa, interrupts, "Oh, yeah, the bells, the presents that my elves have made for these dear children of mine."
Humble man said excitedly, "Oh no, don't you know who I am. Have you not seen me in your mail box each December. And have you not seen me in the hearts of these children. I am the Claus of forever. And I am who I am.
The word erupting into creation. Popcorn popping in the vendors carts.
Of snowflakes unfolding from above.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

The weather between yesterday and today has ranged from snow to currently rain. It is very odd to go from one to another.
I do admit that it was rather nice to look at during the church service and sunday school. Yet, I wish that FedEx could have picked it up and brought it elsewhere. But then where would the winter spirit be. To celebrate Christ's coming now, At christmas, we almost need to see snow to get in the mood. So here is to a Great Merry Christmas as we celebrate the first week of advent. Peace, His servant, Scott

First Fairfield winter words writers workshop

Today was the first Fairfield Writers words winter workshop. It was a good activity to do on a COLD winter day. I found out the coldness as I awaited for the bus at the end.
But inside the workshop, the mood and learning was warm. And enjoyable to see the level of enthusiasm of over 100 writers wanting to advance in the writen world. And to have a chance to meet other nanoers who took the November Novel challenge seriously and won or just gave it their best shot. And to share with others my life story and my goal to help those who are disadvantaged with their handicapped deal with it. And maybe in children's literature format. We will see where it goes.
Would welcome suggestions from the audience that knows me. too or the subject itself. Peace

Taking a turn

As I was heading into the Milford Connecticut Post mall, I saw some envelopes that were returned with the yellow return to sender label to the U.S. National Guard recruiting office. I could only imagine the journey that those envelopes went on and the lives that they may have touched.
Seeing the hopes that those letters may have brought to families or maybe griefs that they may not want to face.
To not know what was inside those letters might make some real sad, or just anxious to open on up.
Or just a reason to tie a yellow ribbon around the good old oak tree-symbolizing hope that someone may come home from the battles overseas in one piece.

So thanks to the Troops who serve in harms way.

I crossed the finish line

I finally crossed the finish line of my insane challenge back on November 1st to write 50 thousand words in a month. I have not done that in a long time. Not even in college with several papers to do. Mine turned out to be 50 thousand words or 60 pages single spaced. now the fun comes in with splicing the ideas together in a more organized way and to get the train moving forward. A least I got to write more than usual.
and just like participating in the big read 2007 which got me to read
" To Kill a Mockingbird."

Enclosed is an excerpt from the project.

"Words have a way of warming our hearts. These vignettes of John's tough struggles are dedicated to his parents and those who have been heroes and villians in John's life and those who had faced similar struggles around the globe. To his mom for getting into the ring and for his dad and others for being heart warmers as well.
Thread one.
Creeping. Crawling slowly toward the goal line. Slow to speak and slow to thrive. Throttling slowly up on the race of John's life.

Code Blue. Nurse, come over here. John is not responding. Breath irregular. Not moving to the light. What is up.? Better check up on him and give a good thorough work up. Yikes. Life was to become a VERY big challenge for John and his parents to hold onto. One that required the trainer to come into the ring at regular intervals to wipe up some bloody noses from the fights that went on throughout battles of bruised egos and personalities.

Minutes passed ticked slowly into hours it seemed as John's parents waited out in the waiting room of the hospital. How can we be patient and wait for what is to come. A long tough journey is ahead for all of us. They looked at each other with tissues in hand and with uncertainty hanging over them. They thought, "Now what, how are we going to handle what is coming up next?"

Nearing the finish line

I am finally rounding around my last lap for nanowrimo.org
this is my first challenge to write 50thousand words in a month. I am finding that writing that many words in this sprint has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. yet, it is a very satisfying challenge to undertake.

pipe flow continues

I am real glad that the pipe bringing in currents of ideas is alive and well. In the past four days, I have significantly added to my word count for my www.nanowrimo.org project that I have been working on. Now at almost 40,500 words!!!! only about 9500 to go. I can see the finish line a little clearer. Then a big cut and paste project to help bring the ideas together in a unified manner.

Reaching for the shut off valve.

Reaching underneath for pipes is very difficult. Especially for a pipe that is hard to see and out of reach. My shutoff valve for my ideas is churning and is very hard to turn off. probably also with the cup of tea after church that my mind is in overdrive. And with my nano writing project, my mind does not want to turn itself off. So I better reach for that shut off valve.

The soul is not handicapped.

As I reflect on the issue of being handicapped, I have seen firsthand the way the world treats people;especially myself.
When I began my journey as an a little child, the children around me looked at me with stares and with teasing jaunts. Yet as I have matured, I realize that some people see the goodness within me. And as I look at various scriptures, I see that when God created the soul, that part which is protected and nurtured by God is not at all handicapped. It may not develop into its full potential but it is NOT handicapped. And that is a mystery as to why God would do that.

Now back to the nano posts for the completion or attempted completion of 50 thousand words by midnight on november 30th.

Towards the aspiration of writing full time

This month I have been participating in a national challenge for aspiring writers. It is held in the month of November and is called Nano. It is thru their web site, www.nanowrimo.org
I found out about through an email from a local arts council. I logged on and was intrigued of writing a novel in a month. I am doing it in third person representing myself and the many people who have made an impact on me from my parents, teachers, coaches and work associates and church members and tying the themes in a deeper way than I have so far through this blog. Yet still using the same style and use of images to convey the points of hope that I bring across the table to others.
And this novel is going to be 50, 0000 words. I am at about 23,000 so far and am a little behind from where I should be but have been catching up the last few days. Looking forward to what may come of this nenw challenge after all.

Those Sacred walls

Constructed out of wood and pulp.
Walls come in all sizes.
The wood and nails that bore Christ is of the same essense as what is within our church walls.
Thus making them sacred and holy.
Making something ordinary into something extraordinary.

Change

Change. chump change. Loose coins in my pocket. And autumn and summer. These all conjure up images of change.

"Let me exchange these tickets for you for another and better opportunity,"says a civilized member of his cricket clan.
He continued, " I have better tickets up front for the orchestra for you to enjoy." The cricket flutters his wings and moves out of his chair that he has comfortably slouched in and hops on through the crowded aisle to avoid being squished. "Ah, ah, I finally made it down the aisle into the better seat. Those lights from the usher almost blinded me." Sitting into his new seat gave him a great chance to look at the strings section. Cricket thought to himself, "No wings up on stage, I wonder if they would have room for me." Looking up and seeing a giant distance almost looked like peering into a skyscraper. Yet, the only up and out would be a hop onto the stage. Thoughts vexed in and out of his mind. Can't get crushed. I will have to check with Meier next time to see if I can hop into the action.

Change in life can appear slow and tedious as if nothing ever is going to happen. Bridgeport recently opened its new intermodal transit center the weekend of Labor Day. As I took the bus on the way to work, I often looked at the center and said that is going to be a great place to have a bite before I got on the bus or when I get home at night. Yet when it opened, I found no concession stands in action. Yet what I found great was that I could flap my wings from bus to bus without being hemmed in by thirty people hurriedly passing me by to get theirs. I went right to my bus bay right next to where I left my #10 to go to the coastal link.
I love music and I heard gentle jazz music being played overheard at the terminal. I saw several employees dressed in their bright orange and yellow GBT shirts helpimg people to make their connections. At night, the lights are brightly lit and security is surrounding the center.
I will not miss the occassional turkey that I found in his tattered overcoat who made an occassional delusional sound as if he was a turkey or the errant fellow looking for a few dollars to get him on his way to Canada. And the DVD hucksters with their gym bags of freshly burnt DVDS are not at the new center any more. Gone are also the restless tiles that were broken with age and peeling paint. Part of the old character has been lost, but what has replaced it is wonderfully new and fresh and full of potential.

This newborn of the city has a little growth to do for it. I look up at its ceiling walls and see old paintings depicting the times when laborers worked in the factories with their use of tools in the coal furnaces. An old sign for one of the bus lines, C&R lines is shown on the ceiling.
Taped on the new elevators and stairways are signs that say "Don't enter". I look out at the walkways overhead and see them brightly lit yet no people crossing to and fro the train and bus stations. When first looking at the bus station, i thought I would have a harbor view if I went upstairs. I have not been able to see that yet.

Change takes time for our city. I look out at the city with a perspective of a child. I see lego building blocks with a picture on front of a city with great potential. I have a green board yet with some broken pieces. Yet looking up from part of its base at night, I see 15 story skyscrapers with lights on within its building blocks . I love seeing lit buildings at nights since they can appear so simple with definite structure and have a playful appearance of being able to snap a few pieces on. Rare within a lego set are the clear pieces. When I use to build with them, they were allways a hard piece to come by, yet that piece reflects the life of the set where action occurs behind the scenes of that small clear block.
Let's give our cricket some room and a chance to spread his wings. His chance to play in the orchestra may come soon. And a chance to govern it as well. Chirp on, Beethoven.

Emerging from the Nautilus Shell

This morning, I was surrounded by three gifted mature women who could communicate clearly in a writing workshop at the local arts center that is still forming itself. Maintaining itself despite some controversary surrounding it with politics and stuff.

On the walls, there were images of the virgin Mary and other images that were of a primitive nature. They also hung above from a string of rope . It provided an interaction with another culture as we creatively wrote about ourselves. I was able to tie in several different events from work and life and tie them into the writing prompts which made an interesting collage. Just as the latin American/hispanic artists could do with these quilts hanging on the walls and from the rope.

from various writing prompts this morning, I became a little more able to emerge from my shell and wanted to share with the participants that I love Jesus and let them see a little of him in me. Not knowing if my paths will intersect again with the two of them. It may. But it was a good way to let my feelings for Him to be shown as I handled my bag of nutmeg spice and remembered in scripture that we are to be a living sacrifice offered to Jesus.

Let my memory be a torch

Memory

A torch held high. Let it be exalted as we recall our glory days of ago. Let it be held up high as we climb the hills of life and let them be full of splendor and struggle. Let this torch be passed from friend to friend =from those who know us well and those that don't know us well enough.

so go the cats singing "Memory"


Let's travel on the memory brick road during a good game of concentration.

boxes

As I went through my commute this morning, I realized that the world is dominated by boxes from the moment we are born to the minute we die.
In the beginning, for the first 9 months of our pre natal life, we are confined by the womb-like box that nurtures us as an embryo until the embryo becomes a full-fledged newborn.

Then we are surrounded by a crib during the evening and strollers and other enclosed contraptions to keep us in safety.

Then later on in life, we play with building blocks which are in the form of boxes and also some toddlers built cities full of boxes.

Later as adults, we will work within buildings that use boxes to store documents. There is a skill to creating boxes for which we can store documents. And many times, the documents lie there in state never to be used again. Often times, it feels great to place them in a box yet we tend to forget they are there.

We as pedestrians and commuters look at buildings which are box like in structure.

And at the final moment of time. our lifeless body will be placed in a box aka a coffin in a hole in the ground.

And it takes a whole lifetime to unpack the box that we have been given and to make good use of its contents.

John Ortberg, a christian author, uses the analogy of life to that of a game of monopoly where at the end of the game, everything that we have accumulated goes back in the box at the end of the game.

May these words bless the reader.

Droplets

Not much popping into the mind tonight. Just the phrase droplets to describe how I can feel at the end of the day.

Droplets frozen on the skin.
somewhat invisible from the long day that has been spent at work and traveling back and forth on 6 buses and on foot.
Not one to sweat. one to work hard and climb hills of effort.

careful in how I dance on the road so not to grab a stone underfoot
yet bumping into cubicles and walls when not looking forward.

Lesson learned; look forward and down at the same time without seeming like a duck.
And to enjoy life also and treasure each moment. especially after hearing that one of my favorite sports anchors with a good narrators voice=Bill Gonillo died at the age of 44. Which is my age also.

Peace to his family.

Curbside Greeting.

For a few minutes this morning, I tried a different form of ministry at church: Curbside check in. Not exactly like that of the airport though.
No suitcases were exchanged. Just a quick and friendly handshake or hello.
I realize in life that we all have packages to unload of cares and of concerns. Yet, unfortunately I did not fully unload them at the curbside of the church but somehow managed to carry them back home with me. If only I had real packages like that of a suitcase might I have taken advantage of a service like that. Yet, God does offer such a service in prayer and I hope to fully take advantage of that component of my faith since we are studying the discipline of prayer at our 8am class.
May God bless the reader.

I joined the chorus of the crickets

Tonight being on the cusp of autumn and the last day of summer, the crickets were sounding their music before the audience of apartment dwellers. Most probably paying no attention to these critters and some like me paying some attention to their intricate sounds as their feet rub against each other making marvelous muisc for me to enjoy while listening to my praise music on cd and reading Philip Yancey's book on prayer in preparaton for our 8 am sunday discussion group. Who knows where our discussion will take us in the morning, but it should be full of surprises and blessings along the way.

Just being able to type at the keyboard without looking at the keys and to see words come from my mind and listen to music and breathe all at the same time is a modern miracle of life itself. And to realize that life is forming within one of my coworkers as she anticipates the birth in 7 months of her first child. And how God holds this entire earth together in its complexity. Of people digging into its surface for survival in finding a well and those who are digging to escape from the pursuit of others as Osama did when he hid from authorities a few years ago.

Mysteries are profound in life yet just being able to string together a few random threads is a great pleasure to me and to do it with a computer that will not crash on me is ever so wonderful.

Approximately two weeks ago we had a cricket visit our office and he chimed for a while for about 30 minutes and then he was off and away in a corner of our office limping and obviously in distress. Not emitting any sounds of joy as the crickets are now doing outside my bedroom window. Their conductor is God who is keeping the rhythyms of this earth in perfect order. may the words of this post bless the reader as well.

the rain must come and the sun will follow

I thought that today would be bright and sunny. Yet we have a little rain and yet as Annie says, :The sun will come tomorrow. And I am glad that the sun will come morrow because it is our church picnic and our 125th anniversary day of our church.
Sometimes it can be difficult to get up and get going=facing the uncertainty of what will be accomplished. I do the love the result of Neatness but I let fear and procrastination get in the way. If I would only just let myself move forward, I would be able to see some changes and then let others celebrate with me on changes that I implement in my little significant life.

It just popped into my head again that I must be like the phoenix who triumphs and raises out of the ashes. It must arise. I also reflect back to tuesday's 6th anniversary of 09-11 and also our intervention in Iraq and Afghanistan to try to bring about world peace. These accomplishments with our goals seem hard for us to accomplish. Yet somehow trust must enter the pcture that our leaders who I see on the television know what they are doing. Having never met any of them in person.
I feel the same way about God sometimes. Never having directly seen him except through the actions of others, I too must trust what He is doing in my life as well.

A Cathedral for balloons

Balloons, Balloons, Balloons
Everywhere.
Filling the sky of all sizes and all colors.
Punctuating the sky-as if broken by a puff of smoke

Arising from a little child's string.
Releasing His balloon above.
As if a prayer spoken to the heavens.

A message tied to each one
attached to a string
in an attempt to reach a loved and lonely one from afar.

Looking out on the clear blue sky
on 09-11-01,
looking back on a cloudy and rainy day
not knowing what to do or say.

May the balloons of hope fill the sky.
May they march down by Macy's on the the thanksgiving day Parade.
armed by dozens of men.

Or maybe by words spoken to one another on pages of laughter or somber reflection

Oh, how can it be ...
six years already.
Remembrances must go on.
Let the air fill these graceful vessels.
inflating them with hope yet sagging with age.
Of some that fly away when tied loosely
and some that stay on the ground.

And for the thankfulness that life begins
not just at conception
but at gratefulness of being alive and well
in a world that has changed forever.

progress within a private island

Just to get away and be surrounded by nature. To forget about the cares of this world.

Thirty years ago, my parents and I set out for our first adventure onto the coast of Maine-that has lasted through this day.
We vacationed on Pratt's Island which is one of the many islands on the coastline of Maine. It was off of the mainland of Southport. Two bridges to get across to go to our little island.
When I was a teenager, I enjoyed the many afternoons walking on the rocks in front of our cottage. Our cottage sat on the top of a cliff of rocks with a forest that sat behind it.

These large rocks were a challenge for me most of the time. I clung to the nearby rocks in case I lost my balance . It was the first summer for me after having some surgery on my feet and ankles, and my parents thought that it would do me some good to get away and be in the salt and sea air and for us to escape noisy neighbors. On one of the occassions that I rock climbed, I did fall back onto one of the smoother outcroppings of rocks since I lost my footing. I gently grazed my back and was thankful that it was a smooth rock and not one of the more jagged ones that I climbed over previously.

One morning I overheard some conversations of the local islanders who said, "You see, the pollock and bass and some blues are running under ya here. you ought to give it a try." So off I went with my fishing pole and Plano tackle box. I stood by the railing of the Pratt's island bridge with its faded and chipped white paint. I tossed my line into the water with the hope of catching some fish. When I got the first tug on the line, I said, "yes, my first fish off this bridge. the natives were right." Yet, when I reeled in my line, I only caught a tiny green crab with some seaweed clinging to it. I brought the pole through the railing and unhooked the crab and tossed him back to the water below. Again, I cast my line into the water. Yet, I got the same result with crabs. That afternoon, I caught and released almost a dozen crabs.
As I walked home from the bridge over the dirt roads into the cottage. Mom asked how my fishing expedition went. "Oh, I only caught about a dozen green crabs with seaweed on them, no fish as the natives promised." Mom said, "you will do better next time,son. They were probably the same ones hopping on the line again." Words of comfort to a budding fisherman.

One of those summer days in August, I wanted to go to the local library's annual book sale. My uncle and aunt and their two kids were going to be spending a week with us in our cottage. I pleaded with them to get a ride to the sale. Yet they said no. I told them I was going on a gentle walk and would be back in a couple of hours. When I left the cottage, I was determined to get to the sale. I started the walk along the southport roads, and I stopped by several small yard tag sales and picked up a few items. Almost one and a half hours later, I arrived at the Newagen Library and walked in with great hopes of tables full of books. Yet, I kept looking around in some disbelief. A few scattered tables with leftover books and no one browsing. Ah shucks. no books. I thought about it for a moment, should I call home and ask for a ride. Yet, I started back on my 3. mile journey on foot. I kept worrying was I going to be late for dinner. When I got home, Mom and Dad were worried of why I was gone longer than a couple of hours. I said, "I wanted to go to Newagen, and noone would take me. So I decided to walk it by myself. " They said, "in two days, we have company. Better rest those feet so you won't be sitting alone while we have some fun. " Those two days were spent resting and recovering from the 6.5 mile journey.

Today, my parents are at Piper Shores, a lifecare community in Scarborough, a suburb of Portland . Piper Shores is an elegant community with cottages and a main residence divided into two wings, Joselyn and Kirkwood. This land was once part of the Winslow Homer estate and a group of investors decided this would be a good place for the elderly to live by the sea. My parents were reading the Downeast and saw it advertised in it . My parents heard many good things about lifecare from my dad's sister and decided to check it out. I am glad for progress on the Maine coast and knowing that there is no isolation there. And help is available 24 hours around the clock. And a drop-dead view of the ocean. Views that have traveled for us through our residences on the coat of Maine.

One of mom and dad's neighbors at Piper Shores owns a cottage on Southport Island . They are at the other end of the island on a small dirt road . As I had my weekly chat with mom and dad at their rented cottage, we reminisced about the old days of West Southport, Maine. Of those times when I caught those dozen crabs and my 6.5 mile hike around the island to go to the Newagen library's annual summer book fair. The Newagen Library has undergone an expansion with a new children's wing and has expanded its shelf space.
They visited Pratt's Island and remarked on the progress that the island had made. Gus Pratt, an islander for his life, owned a portion of Pratt's which had mostly forests of trees. It sat at the edge of the sea. My mom said, "that is his annuity for his family." His children now own it and decided to develop the land into milion dollar mansions. And the General store where Gus and his wife worked is now for sale to the town to have it be a center for the yacht club. Gus Pratt had a white beard and wore overalls at his store which housed a duck pin bowling alley within it. His checkout counter was lined with nickel postcards and penny candy. The store was lined with windows and there was a little cafe where one could sit and have an icecream cone or sandwich. During one of our summers, mom and I would walk to the store to pick up a loaf of bread and some bananas and get some icecream while walking home to the cottage.

I am sure that if I stood on the Pratt's island bridge today and tossed a line into the waters, I would almost come up with a dozen crabs and a few bits of seaweed. Yet some things will not change. The Sheepscot Bay which surrrounds Pratt's Isle and Southport isle are still present. So are the crabs and so is the island with the gulls and ospreys overhead and the rocks below. They roll with the pulse of the tide and not with the progress of mankind. They still get their sustenance from the sea just as the lobstermen do. And I am glad for them. Yet inside, I still have a hankering for those afternoons in a rocker on the porch. Enjoying a summer of rustic living at the edge of the sea. The same type of living that Rachel Carson had during her time on Dogfish head-also a part of Southport Lore.

The Quest for a cure

I have seen many times mentioned the need for a cure. For more drops in a bucket. For the muscular dystrophy association, for the sma association and for sickle cell anemia. Hard for me to put a finger on how to help out since I don't know all their struggles and having limited resources. But we do have many things to work on as a society. Lord, help those who are at their wits end not knowing how to proceed and help them get a little more strength to go the next 10th of a mile.

Working At Life

happy Labor Day. Not everyone works out of an office or school or factory. But a comment from a friend struck me the right way in that we all work at Life. We all must make the best of all our opportunities. Of how our hopes and our disappointments can weave each other together so that we may be most effective in what we are doing. It is good to see how a simple comment can encourage me briefly and show that what we all do is work and implies a struggle sometimes and definitely a reason to celebrate the actions of all who are involved.

Life is a magazine; it is a cereal which Mikey likes. It is a game and it is also a good four letter word if one has the right attitude about what comes at us everyday.

A good day to laugh at tortoises indeed crossing the road with their baby tortoises and turkeys going across the road. The adventures of hearing plastic bags "growing in trees" and the need for times to connect with each other over movies we liked or disliked. That is the beauty of friendship and the bonds created from our former group, Real Life, which I still miss. But it is the times to let our hair down and just be ourselves-which was the original model that Pastor Dan of Black Rock had for us almost 8 years ago for us and it still works for this odd bunch of disciples of Jesus today just as it did in the time of Jesus 2,000 years ago.

Jesus had his group of 12 and then he had his group of 3 of Peter and james and John that he had extended time with. That is the value for family and friends. Last week, I realized that when my parents wanted alone time with Abby, their granddaughter and their son, it was okay. I fought it at first. But if Jesus needed some down time to prepare his disciples for the work ahead, then my parents need to have the same opportunity as well. It takes maturity and running around the bases in the game of Life to get a grasp on it as well.

walking through the seasons

Walking through the forest in a summer rain. Feeling the air against my shoulder and against my skin. Making a stride toward the autumn breeze and the cooling of the days. A gloria Deo amongst the fields of changing colors and of the rustle of the leaves underneath. The chill of the evening rain as the water-soaked leaves collapse underfoot and become molded into broken pieces-recognizable as leaves yet wet and broken. The onset of the wind coming off the coast upon the jagged rocks. The snow howling at my face as I seek refuge from its assault upon me. For those glorious days of autumn to return or the warmth of embrace of spring just ahead.
It is amazing how each of these seasons help to reflect the moods that I am in. Words may sound a little bleak which is sometimes how I feel. Yet I also feel hope as I have included words of hope to bring the reader and myself into awareness that the world offers both perspectives=ones of bleakness and ones of brightness. How emotions can be felt through the changing seasons. Yet it is through these seasons that life comes and provides life with a rest of production so that life can begin in earnest in the springtime of Hope Eternal.

Our Tent of Protection

I have learned lately that life is an adventure. We always have to be ready to adapt to anything and be flexible. We arrived at our bible study location and the host was not home. So instead of climbing through an open window, we started our prayer time in the gargage with fold out lawn chairs and munched on a display of edible fruit. We spent about 20 minutes doing that to encourage each other and to touch base with our lives. It was good to hear from my friend that the 5 evenings that I spent at his house for dinner with his family helped to establish a pattern in his life to be the pastor of his house and to hear of them praying as a family and even asking about the things of God. So I am thankful God for the week that I became a little exhausted hanging out with his family's kids and the kids of our church during our Vacation Bible study program.

I also realized that when God had Noah build the ark before the flood , He did to provide protection from the waters that would rise over the land. this happened because God was upset with how mankind was responding to His authority. This source of protection is carried over even to the tradition of the Jewish religious services of the importance of the Ark and even the importance of the Ark in history in its travels from place to place.

Today, the church is our ark of protection from the evils of our world and society. And ultimately interacting with God;s people in prayer and the study of the Bible is critical to develop a long lasting community and to develop a protection from sin-to make us more like Jesus. Something that we have to do together to gain a source of strength. And we definitely need a sense of humor. To take life on the fly. To pull up a garage door , flip on a light and pull out some lawn chairs and talk to God. Fellowship is not all that complicated. yet that process builds lasting memories and builds the community together. That is why the early church prospered more since it could not rely on a pre-programmed mode of worship since persecution happened at any time and the people at that time had to live by the seat of their pants to stand up for what they believed in!!!!!!
This is the way worship will leave a legacy of lasting memories to share with family and friends for many days to come.

To build or not to Build

This morning at breakfast at Andros diner in Fairfield, our men's breakfast group from church got together. Our leader sent out an email to ask us what we would do if we were asked to build a mosque. This question came about since the band, Maeve, that performed at our church relayed a story of how someone they knew did that and the people who were associated with the mosque became christian believers. We didn't have a whole lot of discussion on this. We were trying to get to a consensus on the definition of Allah and how that pertains to our God or not.

Yet a good thing on the topic is it got 10 fellows moving in the morning to have a discussion and to fill up our table of 8 plus a booth for two to boot. When I got there this morning a few minutes late, the table was already almost filled up. What a good sight to see.

Being fully known and loved

As I occasionally think of heaven and the different types of activities that will take place there compared to those on earth, I am not fully sure exactly what life will be like. We will be entering the 5th dimension of reality. What is not known will be fully known then. The veil will be taken off our eyes. Right now, I need to see everything exactly as it is. I desire to be completely satisfied, but for some reason, I am not. Whenever I puruse that. I am left in a state of longing. Yet in heaven, we will be fully known and loved. Fully accepted for who we are, with our faults covered up by His sacrifice on the cross and with His name inscribed on us. Our faults and frustrations through His grace will have created an oyster within us. It will make us well polished. With His stripes, we will be healed and will be able to enter the curtain in the HOLY OF HOLIES of heaven without fear of dying.

Help us to have this perspective of being fully known and loved. And help me to keep the perspective that I will be satisfied on that day. I just have to endure life's trials to get there on that glorious day!!!!

Let's worship the Lord

I just went to a farewell service for a pastor of the next generation. Kevin grew up in my church and then traveled to several other states-from Cleveland and then back to Fairfield, Ct to serve as a pastor for the next generation. Kevin came from a line of pastors in his family. His grandfather, Gil, was a pastor of our church a long time ago in Bridgeport. This was before we became rooted in Fairfieid. Ånd now Kevin is off to Melbourne, Australia, A place very far away, but over 150 came to say goodbye and to celebrate his work in Fairfield and what he will do overseas down under in Australia.
One of my friends commented that Australia won't know what hit them when he is down there.
Many of the christians that I have interacted over the years were at the service. It was good to see many smiling faces of people I have known briefly but it was a great encouragement to have that affirmation of friendship. And a good way to inform extended family that once worshipped at Trinity of things going on with missions

Ånd it is good to see how God can mold his people of our 2007 Swaziland team. Don's sister and family came to hear him talk on his journey to Africa and how God's goodness extends across the continents. Don Hay focused on Psalm 23 which is often read at funerals but it is also one that can be read in celebration for what God is doing now.

We do have a global God who likes to hear the way different believers worship. I do have a hard time to get into the syncopated beat of the next generation, but if it reaches their hearts, that is great!!!! And to hear how God can move generation to generation is encouraging. How he can take teenagers and young adults to shake up the world. I hope to encourage the next generation somehow, but even if through prayer to bridge the two worlds of America and Australia. Both beginning and ending in an A. The A-team of disciples.

And that is what many of the disciples during Jesus's ministry were=they were young. They were called out of their current occupations into some that would be very unlikely to them. Imagine a fisherman or a tax collector becoming a pastor today just from the call of the master. The call was clairon back then and very hard to ignore. Yet the cost was a high one. to leave one's friends-one's place of familiarity. And the cost was high in that to call oneself one of His meant many times death on a cross or persecution. Imagine Mary the mother of Jesus taking on that tough call to be the Blessed mother as a teenager to take the ridicule and scorn of others. But thanks to the angels, she understood her role and embraced it fully. Thanks for our freedom we don't face those same challenges. Yet we were urged to make His name known and to take a bold stand. Not to be lukewarm but to be followers of Jesus. To take up our cross daily.

One of my friends, Joel, asked how I was doing on the blog. I told him I added some poetry recently. He asked if I was going to publish a book. He said that it could make a big impact even if a few read it. And Dee at church asked how my writer's group at Trinity is going. I said not yet. But God if these two things are going to happen, I trust you with the results. May I just be faithful to accomplish the two of them!!!!!

Ånd this is the 200th post according to my counter. and all without steroids!!!! May there be another 357 to beat Bonds.

Father Time and Mother Nature meet

I wrote this little piece for the monthly second thoughts meeting at the Rainey Faye Bookstore in downtown Bridgeport and it generated a good 30 minute discussion on the nature of life, death, and time and even a book, called The Power of Now.

911 Rescue

This sunday morning sunday school started off normally with discussion. With a few minutes into the class, the office next door become a hub of activity with one of our parishoners being whisked in and the dialing of 911. She obviously had an emergency and 10 or so gathered around her with medical expertise. It shows how fragile life is and how a little shift in the equilibrium of life can have an effect on our lives.

in short order, the Fairfield Police car pulled up front, then the firetruck and then the ambulance. When I reflected on it, I recognized that the police represent God the Father watching out for us and making sure the path is set for us receiving Jesus through the evangelism efforts. The fire truck representing the son, Jesus,has the needed oxygen and the ability to further clear the obstructions if necessary to save trappped people -whether physcially or those trapped in sins. And the ambulance , representing the Holy spirt, is what allows the continued restoration in comfort while the patient lays on a stretcher waiting for the care at the hospital. All the while, the police car will guide the ambulance in at times clearing the path of oncoming cars.

Definitely a new way to look at the Trinity in our lives. As we reach out to others lives to bring them close to the needed salvation of eternal life. Peace and blessings to those who read this post.

My Battle with the Kitchen

This afternoon as I did a small chore of putting away some silverware, I attempted to open my kitchen utensil drawer. It opened an inch and would not budge. I opened my cabinet drawers and fidgeted around. Even used my yardstick to see if I could move the unidentified blockage. Yet to no avail. I took a few deep breaths and then proceeded to poke around some more. voila!!! I hir pay dirt. Found an opening around the sink and was able to move the utensil tray an inch and it opened right away.

Thus for my battle with the drawers. As some fight to lose a few inches for their drawers to fit, I had to move my obstruction two inches to get it to fit as well. Ås my friend, Bianca said, I am just too funny. I hope you found it amusing as well.
Peace

Alex vs. Barry

On the same day in baseball history, Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds have both hit milestone homeruns. Alex hit his 500th in the majors and Barry hit #555 which is one away from Babe Ruths record. Better watch out Barry, but Alex is only 57 away from breaking your record once you hit. Let the homerun kings continue at it. Making baseball fun like in the late 90
s with McGuire and Sosa battling it out for who is King that year.

a five bus morning

Today, nothing worked perfect. I got on my morning bus #11 and that was fine. but upon entering the terminal and hopping on my coastal link, the bus would not start well. so we had to wait for the next one twenty minutes later. Then when we almost were at the Milford Mall, a very talkative lady passenger got off the bus and fell in a small hole twisting her ankle and hurting her back. She complained for the whole time. Of course, we had to wait for the next scheduled coastal link to get to the mall.

No time this morning to stop at the store or to the Panera bread from the delays i experienced on the bus lines. And I forgot to pack my lunch so it was chip feast for lunch. What a day and to be Christmas in July also.

Passengers really should not make comments toward others even if they are not liked. but that is how life is. and being on public transit is definitely an adventure. As Greyhound says, leave the driving to us and I can also add the troubles and aggravations as well. I just have to watch and experience them as well.
And it makes definite good conversations with the operators of the bus lines as well. Ås I told Ken this evening, I could definitely write a tale on the adventures of my time commuting. It takes up a good lion share of my time.

not my job

I gathered with two other christian friends who I have spent many a monday night over the past 7 years. We listened to the adventures and struggles that one of my friends is having. When he gave me my ride home from our meeting, I said there are 6 billion of these people who have personal struggles with addictions of one kind or another and God cares about each one of us. I said, " I am sure glad that I don't have that job. i would not want that." Yet, I am sure glad that God appointed Jesus and the prophets beforehand to do that job. And He allows us the privelege of praying and intervening for 6 out of the 6 billion that we represent through prayer.
Glad that I went to shelton to gather with 2 others. It showed me that my struggles are minor in comparison , but they are still important nonetheless. And to have an impact through praying for my friend's family and someday maybe meeting them in heaven and being told by Jesus," Scott, well done good and faithful servant, now you may enter your rest." Lord, help me to recognize that I will get my rest when I have done my service to you and allow me to be more available to others and see with Jesus's eyes and be His hands and feet. And to be a willing ambassador for Him.

smoothly sailing through time

Smoothly sailing through life-in the boat of life.
Facing its challenges as the sails rotate back and forth.

As the sails billow and flutter back and forth in the wind.
Clanging against the masts
echoing back and forth a reply to be heard.
Moving the boat back and forth-
onward and upward over the cresting waves.

Surf and spum spread over the transom of the boat-
to become a sticky and chalky substance to the touch.

Gliding through the waters
slowly and gently
passing by floating driftwood, silent lobster pots and clanging bell-buoys.
replying back to the rustle of the wind over the waves and being in harmony with nature herself.

The Pencil Sharpener

An oval-shaped pencil sharpener clings to the bookshelf by the wall of the Osborn Hill Elementary school. It is attached to the wall loosely by two small screws as it swivels to one side or the other hanging by a thread. It has a silver cylindrical shape and gahers up the red wood shavings of the blackfoot #2 pencil. The freshly ground scent lingers briefly for awhile.
Revving back and forth, shrinking the pencils so that their ends are nice and sharp. Yet even with all of this grinding of the wood, it does not always produce a stable point. At times, it is rough and ragged. As are many ideas that float in my head=only to be honed through the grit of experience and the persistence of time.

Patiently awating a line of feet and eager voices as they get ready for their daily assignment in their blue books for the latest quiz that is being handed out by their teacher.

Unfolding of mystery

Recently, there has been a lot of hoopla and fanfare over the release of the Harry Potter book #7. While I have not read any of J.K. Rowling's works, I have some exposure to the phenomenon from having seen one of the books in a movie and my niece, Abby, has written a follow up to some of Harry's adventures from the perspective of an eight-year old child.

When I went to the Borders bookstore in Milford, one of the staff was dresssed in garb for their evening party. The release at midnight for each of the books provides a celebration for the children in our world. To unite many different cultures together to get them on a common theme and to bring them into the world of reading=now that is a good thing. It almost serves and acts in the same way as the NEA has done for adults and teens in their initiative of the Big Read which has brought people together to read a common book such as To Kill A Mockingbird for 2007 and discover the common threads among words.

One praise that I have for this kind of novel is that it provides children an exposure to common themes of life such as death and how to handle adversity.
And I have noticed some price wars on the prices for this tome=at Shaws,it is $20.99 while Stop and Shop is $24.99.

The common theme of good and evil in the book runs through literature from The Tolkien trilogy, to the books in the Bible and through modern poetry.
Even though I did not have extensive knowledge or exposure through Harry Potter, I just wanted to bring my voice to the table as this discussion unfolds in the future with others.
Peace to the reader in our times of trial and the fight for good and evil.

The MAJESTIC CREATOR

LOOKING OUT OVER THE UNIVERSE.


I confess God that sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my conventional and limited mind around how you created the world in 6 days. you may have had a little more than a tradtional 24 hours to do so and you probably had a tad of assitance from the angel corps that you worked with. Yet, I see the way that you have done it.

Our small and fatihful men's group on mondays, aka the mad scientists of VBS, is studying a DVD series on creationism. It is amazing the details that went into the planning of the universe and how it is sustained so well. yet when I look at trees, plants, or animals, each one is created through the interaction of seeds of varying sizes. But it is you God who established the pattern for it to occur. I can not fathom how it was done, but I am grateful that you did it so well.

In our 8am Heaven class at Trinity Baptist in Fairfield, we are learning that God is preparing a place for us. If God has done such a good job preparing the world for us to enjoy in 2007, heaven will be a more marvelous place. In Mercy Me's song, I can only imagine, the lyricst is saying, He can only imagine what it will be like and how will he respond to Jesus, God's own son.

I am grateful God that you can be omnipresent and able to do many things at once. I only wish I could have a little of those powers. Yet, if I did have those like Bruce Almighty found out, life would be slightly overwhelming. I am glad that you have created this world in the way that you did.
Since my cloning machine failed and could not be in 3 places at the same time, I decided to forego two events and focus on just one. In that way, I was able to coordinate my friend, Gary Davis, to go to the coffee house at church and allow him to experience God's love.
Through the humor of a little child, Cynthia, thought that I was the grandpa to the kids of our choir director. Yet, it is good to see how God's humor affects the little children of our day and how God can use the same last names to confuse some and to bless others as well.

So thanks Lord, for allowing the cloning machine to conk out. And help those who read this not to be frustrated when they try to or desire to be omnipresent. Just won't work at all!!!!!!

A tad better tadpole

This little tadpole did a little better job in his sleep last night even with a lengthy mid day nap. seems to be balancing out the sleeplessness.

trouble in slumberland

Mr. Rip Van Winkle here is having a tad trouble conking out since he already conked out off and on during the afternoon and evening. Yikes.

Let the second half begin

It is now past half time and past the festivities. Let us consider how we can run the race to finish it.
Having just come off a busy May and June with retreat preparation and participation, a 20th reunion and a week with the little children of our church, I see a little less ahead. yet, leadership in whatever is critical to make a difference.

Survived VBS

This past week, I took a vacation after working all day to hang out with the 4 year olds to the 5th graders with my local church. I was one of the mad scientists who helped to explain the experiments which we did that demonstrated princiiples that we were teaching the children on having a good flight plan to God. We covered Following, Trusting, Listening , repenting and then Serving. Each time that we mentioned one of these words, we had the children yell, "Lift off." They sure liked doing that as they bounced up and yelled those words.

We got to wear white lab coats which made us look official in our roles. Our locale was called the launch lab. Just as NASA has to rehearse and practice each mission that it undertakes, we had to do the same. We got together several mondays and practiced for an hour each time-trying to get each experiment to work. At the times we were trying to get them to work, we said that some of them were a stretch in trying to convey the point. Yet as I observed and participated in these experiments , some biblical truths did emerge in the process.

The main theme of these times with the children was to allow more of God into our lives and to be on the right path.
These experiments were carried out through the use of balloons. In our practice sessions, Sean, who was one of our leading mad scientists really got into the blowing up of the balloons and letting them fly all over the place. That is definitely what happens to me sometimes as I don't allow myself to be connected to God all that much and let my life fly all over the place.

At the end of this week, I just collapsed and took it easy from being around the children almost 20 HOURS THIS WEEK.
Yet Jesus said "we need to have the heart of little children in order to see God. It will take some time to do rhat since a huge gap of over 30 years exists. Yet as I have just aged one year this week, It has given me a new appreciation of what it is to serve. So Let's lift off and soar to new heights with God once these wings have had some time to heal.

The Way I See it

This morning I had my breakfast with the usual 6 fellows from my church. It is an odd eclectic mix of singles and marrieds that get together to exchange ideas and tips from the week. Yes, when I say tips I mean the type of things from the best deal on the internet or the best way to have a good time.
We are an unique group with an clerical administrator in me, a semi retired contractor, a nurse, a computer programmer, transportation planner and accountant. Six different professions and different life views. A group that I joined since I heard George one morning talking enthusiastically with one morning at coffee hour and decided to join. I have not gotten the golden nugget yet that has unlocked for me the perfect relationship, but I guess the longer I hang around with them, I may find it and it will open up many possibilities for me.

You see, my friend George, he says "the way I see it, you guys have it easy being single. Nothing to worry about." Yet from my vantage point, I want to be on the other side at times getting the instant satisfaction and joy being with someone would bring. But that is in my mind's eye. I have been told at church that no one person will ever complete me no matter what I may think. It would be great to find that one person. George has mentioned to us in class on sunday morning, our 8 am class, that has not solved earth's problems yet, to make a list of the ideal characteristics that we look at in a mate and what qualities we have ourselves.

On the way over to the gym, there was the song with the lyrics, like a flower quickly fading. We are a mist and a vapor that is on the earth for just a moment. Only here one time and then gone the next. I will be greatly prepared for heaven having studied and discussed the book by Randy Alcorn called, "Heaven". But as the song by mercyme called, "I can only Imagine" it has the lyrics of Will I dance or fall prostrate when I see Jesus face to face. I don't know my immediate reaction, but I know I will thank Him for putting up with my doubts and helping me to endure through life's trials.

I am not attending our free tag sale at church today. I have been rather busy lately. As we were chatting at breakfast, Richard J mentioned how we could buy donuts from the donut inn and then sell them at the free tag sale as people take out their wads of cash. Yet, that would somehow defeat the purposes of the sale in the first place to introduce God's love to others.
Instead of going to the tag sale and helping out at church, I went to the gym and ran into a former landscaper of ours that bought our house in Fairfield. He stayed on the same street and built two houses across from where he lived. I forgot to mention to him if he built two more, he could then have a hotel.

When I got home, I was invited into my the apartment of my neighbor, Polly, for me to see her garden on the terrace. That brought into my mind the joys that I have missed out on since I have refused to let people into my home lately to see my life. I have it covered up with my piles on my surfaces and am afraid to let people into my life. I enter into from the outside at events but it is harder to go one on one with others. I can do it with events outside the home, but to let people come into my life within my walls is hard since I also put up walls around me at times to make me comfortable, but it also can be isolating as well.

I hope that as the reader you are blessed from this reading and always welcome your comments.

finding light through the shadows

A miracle is finding light within the shadows. Yet, I really denied myself a chance for that miracle to occur since I holed myself in my tower after the intereaction with my friends and stayed in it-hunkering down for the afternoon naps and walking through the desert of some loneliness. Oh, if I only opened up the shades of life and let the light come in and touch me. Then I could have become whole.
I appreciate the value of vulnerability and of small groups as promoted by my church. But I tend to enjoy being in isolation at times and not in direct contact with the world. I wish that could change. I guess it will take some time for that to occur and for me to be willing to be in open communication with others.
I even tend, Lord, not to say hi to you at times. I just go through my motions in life and do not interact with whole-hearted enthusiasm as I should.

TRIUMPH: The equation of Life itself.

TRIUMPH: The equation of Life itself.

The Balance of Life

Walking on the balance beam provides an unsteady approach at times. When I was a child once, I had difficulty doing that balancing act. Even when walking around at times, it feels like being on that balance beam=taking a second to regain my composure. But luckily, I regain it with the internal clock of equilibrium that we have within us.

Most systems in our lives have an equilibrium center such as the economic free market system. In the ideal world of theory where there are constants added and only maybe one variable, the equation is much easier to figure out. Yet when many variables are added, it can be very difficult to find the true center North.

Running races and marathons are measurable and under the constraints of a clock. Making fair winners and losers. Yet in this modern rat race, we all run according to different abilities and no standard judgment can be used for us. Yet, within our very bodies we are being pushed to the extremes where ultimately everything is in balance=whether in life or in death.

The natural life cycle is ongoing and will not fail to be completed-no matter how much we fail to everything right. God has a different measuring stick of which I am very grateful because he measures things according to the heart and not according to outward experiences.

mirroring and reflecting.

Mirroring and reflecting life, this past couple of months has been spent reading Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird" and interacting with the citizens of Maycomb County, Alabama. Ordinary folk-those with struggles of identity and meaning.

Entering into the primary character, Scout's world, we see a mirror that indeed does have two faces. A child that looks upon her surroundings-walks around in them and sees at an early age how to identify with others and how to avoid them.

We also see her looking back as an adult. From her experiences, these confirm what she has indeed learned. How the present has shattered past memories-of how death has come to the mad dog and how death came to Tom Robinson. Death is a function of life that can nourish the memories of the soul. Bringing life to plants as the seeds die.

The story that our four towns of Stratford, Bridgeport, Shelton and Stamford have participated in is one of hope as we see Atticus's character formed. From his interaction with the sherriff, Hector Tate, Atticus understands that defending Tom Robinson will not be a win, yet it helps to build a foundation for society. In a way, his dream for society is fair treatment. yet the prejudices of the community based on hearsay evidence stirred hatred.

Yet from Scout's innocence, we see her pondering the meaning of Boo's small gifts. Imagine if Boo could have been in the middle of the community-at the town square or in the jury room. He could have changed society. Yet, the biggest change occurs in the quiet and from the perspectives of an innocent child and the power of words.

The book does provide for a lot of food for thought and insight on how to live our lives.

The equation of Life itself.

I read with sadness this morning that someone I knew tangentally had died. I did not know Dr. George Lang that much from Fairfield University except for the shared events with the Kennedy Center Cabaret and annual meetings.
I realized upon reflecting what life has to offer is an equation to be solved. It has constants and variables.
The f(life=birth to death) has many contritbutions to be made throughout.

I attended a prayer rally in the town of Fairfield on Thursday, May 3rd.

ON a Mission

This morning at church we had a kick off for three new classes. They were a course on Heaven, the letters of 1st, 2nd and 3rd John. And there was a class on managing your money. Being finitely human, I could only chose 2 of the 3 classes to attend.

The course on heaven provoked a good controlled discussion that stayed within the parameters of our text and expressed perceptions that we have of what heaven is going to be like. Since there is only eyewitness of Jesus of what it is like, the topic of a visit to heaven is going to be rare on the news network of CNN. Yet, it is the place where Christians are going to spend a real long time at and we need to be better prepared of sharing with people what it will be like and the requirements for getting there. It will be a very lively and challenging class.

Since we were never able to solve life's dilemmas through the contemporary issues time, this new class will offer us opportunities for us to share our faith better and be better able to give an answer for the hope that is within us.

In the letters that the apostle John wrote to believers after he wrote the Gospel of John, he addresses the reader as a dear child. As a child, there is room for hope to emerge and a way for potential to be born. It is always good to go back to the basics and find a way to unite with others.

Being intricately woven.

Many times there are scriptures that are read and heard many times. Now one of those verses came a little more alive when I viewed the exhibition, Bodies, at South Street seaport in lower Manhattan, a few blocks from the site of Ground Zero. The site was fairly congested with many buildings around there still, and no real hole was visible. Yet, just as when I flew over the site a few years back, there is still that eerie sense of a calm and a mystery. That we survived that day and yet there are many who did not survive that day. Our family was very fortunate not to get touched deeply. My cousin Bruce and his company made it out okay except for the soot and debris of the day.

My bible study group enjoyed looking at how our bodies are put together with the bones of the skeleton and the way the organs are all put together. What impressed me was how the blood vessels are like threads which are weaved together going behind bone cavities and all throughout the body. In psalm 1399;13, God has created our inmost being. you knit me together in my mothers womb. The thread could apply to the veins and arteries that carry forth and replace nutrients from our circulatory system. It is the same way with the way electricity flows with different wires for connections and is the same for the local church which has three sources of power. The exchange from the flow of the blood makes it pure and provide power for the body just as electrical currents bring power so we can see in the dark and type on the computer from what the synapses and connections of our brains bring forth to the keys of the computer.

The first source of power is prayer. It is the relienace of individual members to encourage and pray for each other. The local body of Christ also flourishes when people devote themselves to prayer and the breaking of the bread.
A final source of power is from the power of the word of God to change the lives of people.
Thanks God for helping me see a scripture come to life in an exhibit and help me to see how prayer and the bible are threads that I need to connect to my life to make it flourish as well.

Walking in the community-The Big Read

What a big day our city of Bridgeport has had with the Big Read of 2007 with To Kill a Mockingbird. The wet and windy weather from last night could not stop Mrs. Laura Bush from landing in our city of Bridgeport. It is a city that has seen tougher times lately. But it shows the resilience and excitement from its residents as they gathered for this historic visit and celebrated the talents of elementary age children who portrayed Jem, Scout and Dill and brought to life the stories told within the book.
it was good to see the enthusiasm generated and see at the grassroots level the tenacity of our politicians to make learning a focal point of life.

It also provided for me a chance to develop patience and leadership as I worked through several obstacles throughout the day in getting there. From the announcement made in error of a cancellation to the kindness of my doorman Seth in driving up the street to inform me the event was on. And the patience to inform our group it was on by multiple phone calls.

Leadership calls for persistence. A knocking on of doors.
Let the Big Read continue and not just for april and MAY but forever.

The Mockingbird has Landed!!!!!

The book, To Kill a Mockingbird, is a universal read. It identifies with the lives of all people. From going from isolation to that of an invited inclusion.
When I read the book, I could identify with Scout the most. Even though her transition and struggle is different from mine, hers acts as a good model for the reader to understand. She had to make a transition which was rather difficult from being more of a tomboy to that of a girl. She had the help of her Aunt Alexandra and Calpurnia. What I liked about Scout and her brother Jem and friend, Dill, was that they provided her with a protected world in which to develop into being a whole person. She told the story from the viewpoint of an 8 year old who went through several years in Maycomb County.
During the depression era when the story was written blacks faced a lot of discrimination and poor treatment from their peers. Yet, the characters in the novel helped to unfold their development into better people.

With me, my transition was going from the handicapped world protected by the Henry Viscardi School in Long Island and into a harsher environment of the Fairfield Public school system. Not that the Fairfield Public schools were all that bad, it was the kids who were not always as understanding ,and it was during a period during the late 70s and early 80's when systems for helping and protecting kids like me make that transition were not as well developed as they are now.

I had some support at Osborn Hill School when I spent the first fifteen minutes in the gym with Mr. James who gave me the special attention with doing some kicking of a big red ball, walking on a balance beam or knocking a ball against the bat. And the moments when I was on his bowling team and could throw my balls into the gutter for the perfect score of Zero or the times I scored a respectable 90. And I had the support of Helen Carroll and Mike Abraham and Mr. Honey in Andrew Warde High when they guided me in the correct timing for college admissions, being a part of a team and just getting started during the day at homeroom.

But I had the support of my mom and dad which guided and anchored these early years of my life. No matter what my struggles have been from the times the water has been choppy and waves have crashed against my jagged rocks. They have stood there and helped me stay strong. Early reminders that are present whenever looking at the Maine Coastline that has stayed constant and not much unchanging over time.

They have been faithful with my struggles-whenever it was to provide a listening ear or a supportive hand . At times at the end of a school day when I felt like I was teased and bullied by the students who looked at me as a distraction and an interruption to their daily routine, it was always good to walk through my door at home and spend a few moments with mom who sat in her brown recliner in the livingroom and chat of what I went through that day. To relax after walking home from the bus along Margemere Drive with the azelias and dogwood trees and forsythsia bushes that lined our street. To go to the kitchen table in our breakfast nook with the brown and red and grey plaid paper on the walls or to sit on the barstool next to the three paned wall windows that looked out onto our expansive backyard-to just share my frustrations and tears and joys of the day while sipping a tall glass of milk and munching on a hot buttered date muffin that has just come out of the oven- something as a teenager that was easier to do since I did not have all of the trappings of adulthood added onto me.

When I look back on the book and see the early scene of Scout in her classroom and how she felt a little out of place, I could identify with that . In those days of her life, she felt a period of unrelieved boredom in her life. The system did not really teach much and she struggled to find meaning in it. Yet what gave her great joy and excitement was the adventures that they had when they traveled by Boo's house and found different gifts given to them by a stranger-the tin foil, the watch, the soap dolls and ball of twine which continued until they were plastered up. They were gifts from Boo who showed a bit of understanding of travelers who passed outside his window as Dill and Scout and Jem walked home from school. The same kind ofgifts one gets as a child are precious when given by his mom in a living room-ones that live to this day. The same type of gifts of understanding that saved Scout and her brother Jem when confronted that halloween evening when Boo came out and protected them.
Gifts of meaning one receives to then pass onto others. For Boo to briefly come out and help friends he barely knew except in spirit that halloween evening. Yet inside his soul, he seemed to understand the meaning of life. One that can puzzle and perplex us. To have the urge to rush to the back of the puzzle book to find some answer, Yet the answer is for us to search for it and find the small tokens and gestures in life that get us through it each and every day. From people we least expect to give them to us.

Mockingbirds take flight

This poem was inspired after having a poetry workshop at the Mercy Learning Center in Bridgeport, CT. in connection with the Big Read, the NEA project to promote literacy nationwide. This is based on Harper Lee's novel, To Kill A Mockingbird.

Let my heart be obstinate.
Shield it from the flames of opinion.
Let it be firmly planted
Even when thrown off balance.

Let my heart join with others.
Let it join with other hearts who have joined causes-
unwinnable to many...
yet winnable for the benefit of mankind.

Let the wheels of justice get stuck-even if it causes some to be thrown off course.
Oh, How the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. has that dream for all to be equal.
--Regardless of the content of one's character.
How God wants justice.

Let us tolerate one another from our viewpoints.
Let us walk in one another's shoes.

Let the camellias grow---
even if consumed by fire or broken up by stick.
Let the Old mockingbird spread her wings.
For as Atticus said, "tis a sin to kill her."

Let her sing.
Let our hearts sing even when we are all but beaten down.

Looking outward from autism.

How to look outward from the world of autism.
I hold a possible key=not one to magically unlock the puzzle, but maybe i can hold one piece from my experience to help someone who needs encouragement.

At times for a moment, I stand in a crowded room alone and don't want the interaction of others for that moment. I come to and out of that little moment. Yet those with autism are somehow stuck in that bubble and are unable to emerge from it. I only have experience from watching a documentary, but it is hard to get a real pulse of it since I am not face to face with experiencing it as some families are having to. Help me to understand Lord what it is like for those who suffer with it so I can reach out and minister to them as well..

A gathering for the child

This evening at our prayer and praise service, our church was packed with friends from other local churches and past attendees as well. Little Naomi has had an impact on the local community. I knew she has an impact but I did not realize that on a friday night, we would get such a good turnout of people for prayer, praise and fellowship. And to see people wearing the blue persevere bracelets on their arms for neiman picks disease=each united for the family. The final version of the poem- a modification of the last entry went well.
So here is the modified version which I want to share with the world and those that read it, please pray for Naomi and the hundreds that are affected by this disease on a daily and moment by moment basis.

Naomi's World

Upon the eternal sky of heaven, God has woven into place stars and planets.
And has made the moon and the earth.
Upon earth, He has crafted people and animals to share lives with each other.

God is at His loom weaving. Weaving stories of people's lives. Through hearthache and triumph.
From the very moment of birth, we see her being given a significant name-to hold her theme of life.
Naomi Grace Tyrrell. Biblical in theme. Naomi coming from the Hebrew meaning graceful and her name coming from the lineage of Ruth.
Later glancing out the window, we see a broken dream. To have and hold a healthy daughter.

Yet God is at the potter's wheel-fashioning His best creation for the world to see.
To see her gentle smile on a sunday morning and the devotion that she brings to her family. An encouragement and a sign of hope and joy.
God has woven this family together-each one a close-knit stitch mark,
a witness to the world.
a shining beacon of hope to those with Neiman Picks.
A welcome mat for Christ to stand upon.

Seeing little Naomi on the shoulders of her family. Let us see her as God sees her. Bless her eyes and hands and feet and soul.

Being in the midst of this world is not easy.
Hard to see those who lack sustanance and vitality.
Yet within the spirit, it is evident.
How God has nourished the vineyard of the Tyrrells and Greers.
How He sustains and Nourishes souls as well.

May God the weaver and spinner bless the tapestry that is being created today.
May He share the flaws and the beauty with all.
Not one stitch out of place or time.

Demonstrating that God is in control.
Praise be to God.

A poem and living tribute to Naomi

Upon the eternal sky of heaven, God has woven into place stars and planets and made the moon and earth.
Upon the earth, mankind has been placed amongst the animals and each other.
Throughout life, God is at his loom weaving.
Weaving stories of people's lives and people's dreams.

Looking out a window, we see a broken dream at first. To have and to nourish a healthy daughter.
Dreams dashed to the rocks.
an interruption to the continuance of peace.

Yet a look closer to this picture, we see a family drawn closer to prayer and to the Word of God and His people.
A witness to the world=
A shining Beacon of hope to those with Neiman Picks.
A welcome mat for Christ to stand upon.
To gather His flock in dependence upon Him.

Being in the midst of this world is not easy. It is hard to see those who lack since I am one of those too.
But it is great to see how God provides. God sustains. Nourishes Souls.

The potter spins this clay upon the wheel. Making a pattern for Naomi and her family. Best suited for their use and ours as well.

May God bless us all as we look at her. Seeing her hands and feet and her soul and all her organs that God has knit together.
Not one little stitch out of place.

In the midst of a puzzle

This coming week, my church is having a service for prayer and worship and fellowship for one of its young daughters with Neimann Picks disease and at the end of the week, The Kennedy center of Fairfield County is having a fundraiser to bring awareness to the autism epidemic facing clients at the Kennedy Center.

It is rough to see two disorders being promoted the sqme week-at which I will be a supporter. I find it very tough to spend time talking on the issues of handicaps since I have been fortunate enough to pass through the challenges gradually and in a way that has allowed me to comprehend the issues which are faced by those with such challenges. I have been blessed to be a part of a supportive family with my parents that took no to the repsonse of a doctor to put your child in an institution. But instead to place him in a supportive educational environment with some supportive learning help if needed and knowing there were times that challenges would be faced.

I at times want to distance myself from handicapped people but yet i am also drawn to and connected to them. On my sunday mornings, my friend, Gary Davis, is a member of my church. Not always easy to be a concerned friend but it acts as a good way for me to practice being Christ in the world. It is the grace and gentleness that he exhibits which shows the connection that he has to God. Just in the way he tackles the words of scripture-breathing them out- and showing a participation in the class through an astute comment or just a ready willingness to open our time in prayer. writing down the numbers of new friends that he meets so he can minister to their needs is an encouragement as well.

I find that the time invested in my friend Gary keeps me grounded in God knowing that I have to stay alert and focused. Even when a gentle nudge is required to rouse him from a brief nap during a message. Not easy to stay awake at times during the quieter non-interactive moments of time at church. There is something there to be learned to just be aware that I don't always focus on God. I tend to "doze off" in my own way of not being interactive in the Holy Scriptures as I should.

As I mentioned in some of my earlier pieces, our lives are like that of a puzzle where we do not always have our pieces that are clearly marked. Some have the imprint worn off of them, and sometimes we can not see how one piece is connected to another. It is good that the new website, www.autismspeaks.org has as its emblem a puzzle piece. In a puzzle, the picture is on the cover of the box and inside are many little pieces that have been carved from a piece of wood. How easily it is to connect those pieces depends on how well one can determine patterns, how well one works within groups and how well we stick it at. Always a good feeling to connect that last piece together.

TRIUMPH: shared images of Naomi's world

TRIUMPH: shared images of Naomi's world

shared images of Naomi's world

wanting to make a contribution in the life of a very dear family in our church who has been struggling with a daughter having a disease that will probably shorten her life to not experience many of life's little blessings that others have had a chance.
As in the film TItanic, there is the saying at the end of one of the producers saying that after 3 years of being on the Titanic that he never let the meaning of it in for him.
It might be the same way with experiencing the uncertainty of an illness that is so seldom known or diagnosed that we do not have a chance to really live life. I have some experience on this side of my life having lived for 43 years with my handicap and how it has affected my family. I find it very hard at times to understand how this tapestry is woven, yet, it is woven by an expert loomsman who knows how our tangles are going to get unwound at the end. We may not know all the paths that the string will take in our lives. The loose string at times can get very knotty and hard to untangle. At times, feeling like leaving it on the floor to move on.....
But there is that drive within each one of us to make it stronger-by letting faith unglue the stuck parts and to make it a whole piece agaiin.

From having viewed, Walk the Line, on the life of Johnny and June Carter Cash. it is how lives can be brought together through a common theme and thread. It is this walk of faith that brings the loose bits together so that we can see suffering-whether it is a 4 year old daughter that needs to be held by her mom or dad, or pushed along in her stroller. Limiting in a way but also providing a window to a picture of God that is much deeper than a flannograph picture of Jesus calling to and reachng out to the little children.
Naomi is one of those little children so in need of the touch of the healing power of Christ. So this little piece is dedicated to her and her supportive family.

snow and ice

today was a real bitter cold day. It snowed and sleeted.

staying the course.

This is a clarification from the last post that I made. My intention was to encourage those including myself that are on the faith journey to be more like Christ. It is hard to implement qualities of character. It is almost like that of growing seed from scratch. When the package of seeds gets opened up, there are these hard diagonal shards that have elements of life residing within them. I have been told that these seeds have to die before they come to life. How that happens is a mystery. I am no scientist in this regard. But the faith journey is the same way-in that we have to die to ourselves and the desires that are on the surface and surrender to God so He can meet those needs. We all just have to look for others on this journey and realize that Christ is a part of those journeyers as well. And to jump on the wagon and pursue lives of righteousness. Peace

something new

Getting back in the game of faith is not always easy. It can be tough to have the right attitude to do what is needed for the following day. It may not always be easy to be of good cheer knowing a 2-1/2 hour commute faces me and I have so much to accomplish in the coming week. But it is good to have done a bible study in the evening and to have answers reflecting the apostle paul's life and how he faced his hardships.
I tend to be a sunday christian who opens the Bible while at the church for a study at the particular day of the week. I do share my faith with my coworkers and some people on the bus. But I need to let God's word permeate my life so I can share from it and not just say i am reading the Bible for my study. I need to put Christ at the center of my life. And to have him there for my neighbors and to make Him an actual person that they see Him living through me.
My friend, Sean, at our monday mens group shared His walk with Jesus and how he is participating with Jesus and affecting the lives of others. That is dynamic christianity in action. I wish I modeled that more and was not just a sunday christian who opens up the Bible if I feel like it but I would love to be a daily Christian who walks with JESUS daily.

A sprawling city

My part time city has been the Westfield CT Post shopping center. I arrive at this pit stop midway through my morning commute before I catch my third bus of the day.
When I first started my travels to the Milford mall, it was a manageable size. Åt that time, I waited in the lower level at door #6. It was in the hollowed out portion of the parking lot. Outside, there were several white concrete benches and to the side were tall bushes, shrubs and trees that had several birds flying by. Also, the food court in the mall used to be on the upper level and was called the Skyview Cafe. It gave an elevated view to the surroundings and I could see them as I rode on the glass elevator. Beneath was a fountain and shoppers walked around it as they went through the mall.

Then a few years later, the mall underwent an expansion with an increase in the number of stores and restaurants. This led to a sprawl of the mall and there was a wall separating the new wing as the construction workers and contractors diligently worked on it. As the project neared the end of its completion, there were slits made in the wall and I could see the finishing work of the tiles being laid down and the final touches of paint being applied to the walls. At that time, the Skyview Cafe closed down and boarded up with a new food court established in the new wing. Even with the completion of this wing, long standing restaurants such as Knickerbockers and Mrs. Fields cookies are boarded up for establishments to be born. Usually, it takes about 3 to 9 months before something new is conceived and brought to life. It can be a mystery at times as to what the replacement will be before the walls come down. On the temporary walls, nearby stores and restaurants and the mall management advertise their products and services against a white and red background in the theme "always something new".
In this process, Borders, Dicks sporting goods and Target were added along with a 13 screen cineplex. A far cry from the original town hall feeling of a few stores in a shorter distance.
At the entrance is nothing dramatic or grandiose. A good collection of clothing outlets and stores and specialty shops plus the department stores and restaurants. A cross section of society that I can see within a good climate.
Each morning, a swarm of workers in their uniforms of red and black accompanied with the circular logo of the Çonnecticut Post are stationed at each end of the mall. The floor sweepers operate their machines making laps throughout the mall swirling up the dirt and foot steps from the prior days. At times, they leave behind a trace of liquid from their blades. Their machines make a whirring sound that is constant and ryhtmic.
Workers clean each of the tall doors and windows with their pail and squeegies. They even have razor blades to scrape off the accumulated dirt and gum that get stuck to the floor and rugs by the doors. Then there are the shop owners who are behind their enclosed stores getting inventory restocked and organized for the day ahead.
The other morning this week several construction workers were walking in to the police substation being built in a "BYOB" mode. No liquor license has been granted yet for the cops so they had to bring in their own bricks. No excemption could be made for the mall yet I guess.

This city is in constant flux with the birth and death of stores and restaurants. I have seen several leave over the years. Usually, there is no major fanfare when a store goes except for the occassional sales to draw customers in. When the Barnes and Noble left the mall, there were huge discounts of 30 to 50% off the purchase. For this three month sale, I left the mall happy with several large bags of books.

I get to see several of the morning regulars-the power walkers who make it their daily routine to walk throughout the mall in groups. At several of the tables and chairs throughout the mall, I see their jackets that have been laid aside so they can walk freely throughout. Around several of their waists are their sweaters and several wear walkmans and ipods around them as they journey throughout. I occassionally see my friend, Marge, from church. Usually, she meanders later in the morning, but I saw her yesterday. One of the walkers knew where I lived when I mentioned it to him since he delivered gas to the building across the street from me. And I ran into a couple other friends the other day when shopping in which it was good to see them prior to their becoming parents.

The ngithtime crowd is a little different from the morning crowd. There are a lot of teens and youngsters that hang out at the mall then after they get out of school. They too travel in packs but in a less friendly atmosphere. The morning walkers always say hi and how are you doing. But this gang of kids don't always have manners and are off to the food court to get a snack or catch a movie.
One of the regular pit stops for me is Panera Bread for my favorite bagel, the Cinnamon Çrunch with its crusty bits of cinnamon batter clustered heavily on top. This cozy corner of the mall is a comfort to me and it helps to lessen the blow of an exhauting commute as I sit by the fire and enjoy the bagel along with the other patrons as well. Several workers from the Ace ambulance company come in for their morning pick-me-ups.

Never did I think that I would be spending a good portion of my week living in the CT Post mall but luckily never overnight as Tom Hanks did in the movie of the Terminal. Leaving the lit space ship with its neon red and white lights overhead as I await for the GBTA bus to leave for Bridgeport from door #5.

The whole realm of Nature

In our service at church this morning, we sang as part of the communion , the great hymn, "When i survey the wondrous Cross by Isaac Watts. In one of the stanzas, he wrote
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

As those words were on the screen overhead and being sung by our congregation, it is realized that God can not be put in a box. It is very hard to fathom and control all of nature. It can be done in small ways, but it can be extremely difficult when the full fury of nature hits the land such as in Hurricane Katrina and other natural disasters. The vastness of the ocean's depth and breadth came to mind as I sang, were the whole realm of nature mine. It would be great to control all of it-=with its regularity of the tides coming in and out on a stable level each day=having a ryhthym that is constant and never changing. Yet in its simplicity, it carries much depth as a body of water. It sustains our earth and our lands are remarkably anchored and floating on these oceans. It is the very part of the air that we breathe.

The role of love acts as a contrast to this realm of nature. The present is way too small. It demands our totality. Just as the wise men at the time of Jesus' birth took a long time for their journey to give a representation of His nature, Easter is going to require a total sacrifice that demands all of us. So we can not just worship the creation-we must give ourselves totally in response to what Jesus has given us already. Praise be to God-the father of Our Lord Jesus.

Time with Jesus

Thank you Jesus that I am able to spend time with you. I have sent mostly popcorn prayers or small choruses to you Lord lately, but nothing from my heart. I am afraid at times to pour out my heart to you. Thank you for the opportunity that I had tonight to recognize a trap that was laid by the devil and for the abiiity to play hookey from sleep to view the rest of the DvD , In Her shoes. It had poetry in it and the ability to open one's heart to family and lovers.
Lord, I have kept my heart kind of closed lately not spending the time with the scriptures and just humming songs. I thank you Lord for the time that I spent listening to some Christian music on itunes and on the CD player. It has been real good just to talk to you to tell you of some very private parts of my life that I toss around in my head but have failed to share with Mom and Dad for fear of what they will think of me. Just normally parts of maturing through my life. I keep things on the surface with family and friends. I am afraid to get and dig deeper.
My friend, George, when I was chatting with him of my desire to be married someday, asked what are the qualities that I am looking for in a woman. I said, "she should be mature yet could be a new believer and to be godly. And she needs to be someone who can handle the limitations that I have with not being able to drive a car."
Lord, I am going to chat with a woman that I really admire at church today and hope that I have a real good conversation with her. Help me Lord to be Jesus so others are attracted to me not for what I say but for how I say it. Help me to put on your clothes and aroma and to be pleasant to be around.
Thank you Lord how you at the cross forgave those who meant you harm. How they meant it for evil, but the crucifixion you meant for good. For that tore the veil in the temple to give us direct access to God. Please help me bring the direct access to God.

Lord, I do miss my Grandma MacKinnon who died 9 years ago on February 24, 1998. When I called my parents to tell them they were amazed that I remembered the date. I was off by a year saying it was 8 years ago, but we all can add things in our head wrong. I want to have an impact on others and please help me to open myself to others more.
Thanks for this time of worship that I was able to spend in prayer, in the study of the scriptures in Romans and Hebrews, and with the time listening to praise music. Thanks for filling me with so much.
Your friend Scott

Starting from the middle

Communication can be a challenge for me these days. It is hard for me to verbalize in words what I want to say in a logical format from the beginning to the end. Even though I have never played professional sports, I can understand one anaogy a little better. It is as if an offensive teammate on a basketball team decided to make some plays without considering how his actions could affect his other players. As if he tried to initiate the plays without consulting his teammates of what he was thinking. I have to come up with a natural method that will allow me to be on the same page and plan as my boss or coworkers so they won't end in proverbial left field chasing after the ball.