finding light through the shadows

A miracle is finding light within the shadows. Yet, I really denied myself a chance for that miracle to occur since I holed myself in my tower after the intereaction with my friends and stayed in it-hunkering down for the afternoon naps and walking through the desert of some loneliness. Oh, if I only opened up the shades of life and let the light come in and touch me. Then I could have become whole.
I appreciate the value of vulnerability and of small groups as promoted by my church. But I tend to enjoy being in isolation at times and not in direct contact with the world. I wish that could change. I guess it will take some time for that to occur and for me to be willing to be in open communication with others.
I even tend, Lord, not to say hi to you at times. I just go through my motions in life and do not interact with whole-hearted enthusiasm as I should.