Thursday, March 13, 2008

I am left alone

I am left alone. Alone at first to get me used to living on my own. Tethered to the phone line. To keep a watchful eye on their son. When I first began to be left home alone, there were the periodic check-in visits to make sure all was okay. I used to hide in my room at times for fear of the constant b....ri..n....g of the phone. Then I ran down the stairs or up the stairs to catch the ringing phone. May sound silly, but to a 13 year old left alone for the first few times, that was the reality of it.

But as time went on it became a ritual and looking back on it now, maybe it is kind of silly. But then was the reality of that very moment.

At times, Lord, I forget that you are there. watching out for me and checking in on me with your b...ri..n..gs from your Holy Spirit. I am sure that I will be getting a ring from you soon since I misbehaved and broke some of your 10 commandments. But Lord be gracious to me for I know how to behave. Lord, grant me patience to trust you to provide for me what you desire. And let me take the back seat in patience for the lady that you will provide for me. All in your perfect timing. But for now Lord, I have you and that is all that I really need for a godly way of life.

Allow me Lord to see you clearly in my life so that I will have no other idols or gods before you. Let me see you in all the mundane moments of my life.

2 comments:

Christianne said...

hi scott . . . weighty line of thought, this thinking on being alone. can be scary at times; can be exhilarating at times, as sometimes freedom is good and necessary and fun.

not sure if being alone in a new home is something you're experiencing in the "now" of your present reality or something you're reflecting on primarily for spiritual meat in your heart and mind these days, or both. either way, it sounds like you are leaning into God, which is always a good direction.

Scott R. Davis said...

I was reflecting from the viewpoint of the past. not in a new home. just in the new setting of being left alone in training for independence of the now 23 years and counting. Peace be to you also in your transitions.