I awoke this morning with an insatiable urge to start Elizabeth Gilbert's new book on marriage, Committed. I began to devour the intro and kept reading through the first chapter on her adventures of going from an ordinary woman into one thrust to the spotlight with fame.
As I was doing this and preparing my bowl of cereal in the kitchen, I saw the darkened sky deciding whether to unwrap itself from the sheets of slumber. It almost had that feel in the air of when I am about to take a trip up to Maine to see my mom. The anticipation of the day but with more sleep than I usually get because of fear of whether or not I would miss the bus to the bus.
I feel a little bit like a nomad lately going from workshop to workshop or seminar to seminar. I do enjoy those times like I did last night when my creativity and soul were unlocked a little bit. Of how Kathy Caprino of Breakdown, Breakthrough gave a good description of how to live authentic lives. Of how to power up our very existences.
In the past, when I went about my daily life, I woke and then put my feet on the floor and just went running about the day. Getting what I needed to do. A little enervating at times. Not knowing how I would handle any fears that might be thrust my way. What darts could hit me in the form of a warning or stern word. Of being caged in by some of my failures and my failure to communicate within the specified forms and expectations that were set up. As Kathy Caprino put it last night, sometimes the jobs that we may have had are not the right fit for us. That made me feel good with all of the failure that I put up around me. Being told that I failed in my communication and organizational methods.
That still is true but my true worth is from within me as I mentioned yesterday. My worth is not the defeat I may feel when I am within the corporate ring. I may fail or not have all the tools that I need in my tool chest. But I have another tool chest that is equally invaluable and that is the tool chest of my heart. It is this tool chest that I need to unlock more, and I sense that I am unlocking it a little more. Even if I have weary eyes from the passion to pursue excellence and inspiration to help others get back into the ring of their lives.
So, it is off to another exciting day of this sabbatical not knowing who I am going to meet or hear from. Maybe, Lord, that is what it was like for the ancient Israelites that you cared for. How they awoke early to the sunrise and wandered and heard from you. Yet, Lord, you mixed into that equation uncertainty with captivity and wars and bloodshed. But in those times, you sprinkled a sense of fulfillment and order for the world to see that you are a great redeemer and a designer who is predictable with the sunrise yet very subtle with how lives changes as when you etch the rocks of Pemaquid ever so slowly. To be seen by your microscopic hand yet to be marveled by myriads of children passing by.
I hear the bus in the distance taking passengers on their journey. I will be joining the bus in a couple of hours for my journey to the Job Center to share my enthusiasm and joy for life. To exchange stories and to build others up as well.