Oh my. 7.5 months. I have been out of work. Out of the normal flow of the office and its ins and outs of the daily grind of dealing with issues and problems of customers and staff that I used to work with. In a way, it feels good to be out of the flow but I am itching to get back into it and make a difference. The process currently seems so daunting. I have been trained and prepared as to how to do the whole process and am into my third notebook with the different classes and workshops that I have been taking. I see no end in sight.
Almost feel like a boxer who is at the edge of the ring and has been pounded a few times with a bloody jaw. Shoulder muscles aching and cramping from the jabs that were thrown. Lying in a pool of sweat and blood on the mat. With the trainer and his towel over the boxer urging him to get up. The trainer reaches his hand to the boxer and urges him to grab hold of it. The boxer reaches up and takes the trainer's hand. Slowly grabbing the ropes and the jaw goes into a grimace and he tentatively stands and then sits down in a chair to rest.
That is how it feels right now for me. I have not fully entered the ring. I am a bit scared. Yet, I have not been fully knocked down. Only got a few automated emails saying that the position was filled. Or an answer from the recruiter that the position was filled a month ago. I still have me and the wit and the spunk. I just need to spin it in the right way so I can step back into the ring and go at my opponent. I don't know who he is right now. Or what color shorts he is wearing.
Is it blue or green or white. And what about the logo. GE or UBS or Lifecare.
Maybe my opponent is the attitude in my mind. I watched the Tom Brokaw special the other night on Aaron Rogers who wrote, Between a Rock and A Hard place of his week long journey stuck in a canyon. He fought through being by an 800 pound boulder and had to chip away at that thing for quite a while with his pocket knife. Ultimately having to cut off his arm to move past the boulder and into safety and rescue. But he had to face high obstacles and fears. I want to be like him and to be like my old self who fought those battles head on.
Looking back, those battles were not easy but I relied on my friends and family a little more maybe. Lord, help me to do the same to get back into the ring fully so that I can make a full difference and recovery of my soul. To introduce myself and my value to the world in a fuller way so I can be the welterweight champion of the Job World. Come on rejection and discouragement. I can handle it. I just won't keep you on the shelf or marquis for too long though. I am tough. I have grit. I can handle it.
Come on crowd. Bring it on!!!!