Wednesday, October 16, 2013

In Search of the Lost and Found Department

Today, we are going to look at humor and its effect on our lives.
Have you ever had a time in your life when you have ever lost something?
Or many things?

I heard a joke once that goes like this.  A gentleman kept losing his stamps that were on the envelope.
He asked, "How can this be for I am very careful to place it on the envelope"  The other gentleman said, "well, have you checked how you licked them. It is really dry on this adhesive side. Maybe you should lick them on the other side!!"

Well,  I have and I'd like to show you some ordinary circumstances in my life when this does occur and some ways to overcome them.

Once, when I traveled to Washington DC for a rally on the national mall, I went alone on this journey.
I just turned 23 and said, " I wanted a day of adventure and a way to prove that I could control life well.  When I got to the bus, I ran into one of my friends from church so I would not have to be alone on that day for the journey.  We rode together and then headed out for the national mall.  I got there and then decided to saunter off to the Minnesota delegation since my brother lives there and get some trinkets  as a memento to my visit to DC.
Then after deciding not to get the trinket, I headed back into the crowd and realized somehow it DOUBLED in size and my delegation sign got lost within it!!
I wandered the mall for what seemed a few hours until my friend waved his arms as he was calling, "Is Scott there?"
This served for me one of the tangible examples of what it is to feel lost and then to be found and secure.

Now, to maybe help our government stop from wandering for the next 36 hours, it might be helpful to have some sentries in the crowd watching out for someone who is maybe lost? But what really is lost?  Now that would be for another session!!

Another time that I have experienced losing something was my job. I have a good track record of that in that I  lost my first job after college after about 14 months and then lost another one after our company was sold.  Now, these first two banks i worked for I had an excellent track record of losing 2 out 2-100 percent. My mom and dad said, maybe you should change where you work and you will have more success.  Well, I took their advice and then landed up in a company where I was for 20 years.
At Schrier and Bunzl, I kept my job but did have some adventures with the lost and found department.
On my first day to the office for the interview, I did get a little lost since the sign for 306 Black Rock Turnpike was not readily on the building. So I wandered for what seemed like a few moments until I found the building.
And then once inside, it can be a challenge to find that needle in the haystack. I sure had those moments when a supervisor would want a given piece of paper only to go back in the haystack and wonder where in the haystack it really was.

Now, I am in charge of the celestial lost and found department.  We are hiring for a position in this department.  But there can be some conflicts arise when something is lost and then is found.  Let us listen in on a conversation of a typical work day here.

Thunderbolt #1.  Someone stole my thunder?
Galaxy 1:            Really?
Thunderbolt 1:   Yes, really!!  I had my thunder in the corner over here.
Galaxy 1:            Your thunderbird??
Thunderbolt 1:   No, my thunderbolt!! You see, I was wandering the galaxy that you are supposedly                              watching and my thunderbolt disappeared.
Galaxy 1:            Have you consulted with lightning about this.  I hear she has lightning speed.                                       She can   help you find it for you!!  Do you want me to call her in on this?
                           And we can use speed dial for this one, for sure.

Okay, candidate, now as you can see from our Galactic firm we do  need some help. This could be the  ideal position for you as it is a seasonal job.  You mainly work evenings  or in the late afternoon.  Yet, you need to be on call for these disputes do happen often.
You do need a tremendous attention to detail in this matter and do need to see  far into the future .
You do need to have NO fear of heights for you will be way up in space.  And you will need a change of wardrobe with these big white suits for your job.
And you need a reliable source of transportation with excellent gas mileage.

candidate:  Yes, I am up to this job.  As I told you, I have a track record of finding stuff that I lost while operating in gravity!!  Now, what is the training program for finding this stuff in zero gravity!!!
Can I apply for a training grant from WIA for several million dollars?

And then there are the times when one loses lets say their cool.  Their emotions.  How do we package these anyway?  It would be nice to have an aisle 5 where we have our cool and then an aisle 9 where our joy is found. But there are those aisles that have the wrong items in when our hotter emotions are often found.  Only to find a way to bring it all together.

Now remember , it is real important to have these qualities because you never know when someone may ask you, 'SAY, SIR, I LOST IT!! CAN YOU HELP ME FIND IT?"

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