Father Time meets mother Nature.

The dealer deals at the hours of our day. Father time stands still and hovers over us.
Keeping the scales tilted in a balance towards life.
Standing motionless. At times on its face and head.
Trying to stay ahead of the rat race.
Many times desperately falling behind.
And sometimes headed to wards a small triumph.
Father Time joins Mother Nature as he watches to make sure mother Nature runs her course correctly.
Children needs time outs if their romps got out of hand.

Time worn on the wrist.
Lying emotionless in the landscape. Isolated with other landmarks
Peeled backward as a yellow banana.

Time for dad to sit in his easy chair. And adjust the equilibrium of his medicine.
It is all in the timing and a rush to get out safely where time is of the essence.

Time fleeting away
collapsing like a shadow.

In a memory to be discovered again
in the heart of adoration and adoption.

Think outside the Box!!

Boxes are all around us today! We have the big box stores that have gobbled up the mom and pop shops.
And the boxes of packages that we juggle around in our arms, trying not to drop them as we head for home with them.
Some boxes like shoe boxes are predictable in what we assume that they are.

Boxes are also associated with the moves that people make from one stage of life to the next or just to bury stuff to get it out of their way. They are great to sort the stuff and make order out of apparent chaos.

I am faced with the same box dilemma. What box should I pursue for my future job. I sense the Holy Spirit suggesting to me that I may be pushing too hard in the direction of accounts receivable and maybe I should pursue a few other directions. I may be focusing too much attention on the open lid of what I want but not exploring deeper of what is within the shoe box of opportunity that may be presenting itself. That lid may even go to another box and would not fit the box that it belongs to. Or I may have to adapt the lid to the box or marry the apparent paradox.

At christmastimes in the past, I remember sitting besides the tree and distributing the presents. I looked at the red, green and silver tags and read them and gave them to my dad, mom, or my brother or niece. That was always enjoyable as I awaited in anticipation of what would be inside the boxes. Sitting around in our pajamas after we have had our breakfast, we were eager to dive into the tree. Occasionally, envelopes were nestled in the trees for magazine gift certificates or for special presents. One Christmas, a picture of the Victory Chimes was glued on a card with a note announcing the which represented the 4 day cruise in the Penobscot Bay for the following summer.
At the end of our opening of the presents, we placed the gifts neatly in piles beneath the tree so that each of us could dip in and out of them at leisure during the weekend.

The best part of the gifts or talents in life is to display them.. We are each given talents and it is best to use them to fully bless others. The gift that I was given was the gift of encouragement. I enjoy helping others and making others feel welcome. I got the same feeling as I used to put the tree together from the box and match up the colored branch boughs to the trunk of the tree. It takes a long bare pole and dresses it up with elegant boughs wrapped with balls, silver and gold garland and pointy stars and homemade ornaments created over the years.

Flashing back to the first unofficial calendar christmas, the three magi traveled a far distance and brought with them their three gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh. These gifts cost each of these wise men a great price, but the beauty is that they chose one each and did so out of symbolism and from the heart. Gold represented the kingship of the Lord and the myrrh represented the preservation of the Lord and the franincense represented scent of priests. Wrapping the three gifts together expresses how we need to elevate the importance of our preservation of our relationships and to make them attractive to people from afar. That is why I love the holiday of Christmas so much. It appeals to the child within us and also the adult longing to connect with others.


The one box that I am really looking forward to opening is the new one which will have the job that is best suited for me. I feel as if I am waving the cursor over the wrapped box on the internet to see what prize I won, only to be told that this time I am not a winner. It can lead to disappointment and angst and a period of not wanting to go further in the search.
But I do know that others are out there who need my help, and I am enjoying being their guide for whatever time they need. I would not have been there if I was not given an opportunity to stop flying in the direction I was going. Now I just await to see which direction that I am going next.
It is going to be different without my dad during the second christmas without his presence. But I am thankful to have had a good dream of being around in his presence.

I am definitely looking forward to being with my niece, Abby and my brother and mom as we four are there to celebrate Christmas dinner and to watch the freshly fallen snow on the coast of Maine. And to listen to the Christmas music and to see the decorations that adorn the houses . And be with the tangible and intangible bonds of memory.

Tributaries and Tributes

Good evening, World. I had my own tributaries forming within my soul and my eyes. I watched the movie, The Last Song, on a father's dying and the daughter and son being with their dad in his final months. It touched a nerve since I miss my dad and I have had a hard time mourning his loss. The feelings come and go at moments. It is hard for me to cultivate and express that love in how I daily live out my life.

I do try at it but it is hard as I try to rationalize with what ifs. What if only xy and z happened and not ab and c.
But in a way, life is like that of a tributary. I remember studying them in elementary school days. I looked up in wikipedia and it is a stream or river which flows to a main stem or parent river. The tributary does not flow directly into a stream, ocean or lake. It leads water out to an ocean.
The events in our lives are much like that. They guide and lead us and make us into better people.

As I was reflecting on what a fellow blogger wrote, I came up with the idea of how tributaries are good reflections on our life's journeys. I have been through many a storm as I have written at Triumph. It is through that flow of the waters that it keeps us on course to live a full life of victory. To hold nothing back. Not to blame or wish for something better.

Surrounding these tributaries are lush greens that grow out of them. Lord as I think through the essence of this, let me be lush and full of love for all I am around. Let the greenness become ever evident. Let me be bold in how I live my life out.
Lord, you were that way, too. You were known as the shoot of Jesse and that shoot has grown very tall for the whole world to see

I extend a cheer to anyone in the world who has flowing tear ducts, wishing for a better and more wholesome world. But sometimes there need to be those desert places for the tributaries to form some day.

OOPs Change

I must admit that I am a little scared about change. I am going to be going on another temporary agency to try to obtain temporary or full-time work. That is going to involve a big change in my routine of job clubs and other meetings. I am going to have to be at an office in the near future and not have as much free reign.

I also need to take some personal criticism. A friend of mine who is trying to get me work said that I need to clean up some. I don't always have as high a regard to my appearance. I don't know exactly why. I do desire closeness but it is also hard for me. And my appearance does not always help due to my handicap.

I also need to follow through and not just promise and fail to deliver. That came to light in a conversation with my mom.

And Lord, you want me to make changes too that I am not too willing to do. But it is for the good of our relationship with each other and also with my relationships with my fellow communities that I participate in.

Handicapped Christmas Treasures.

This is the 444th post for me and I am excited to be continuing the journey in Triumph on how I have overcome the obstacles that were placed in my path for the last 47 years. The long awaited interview finally is on my friend's blog. It is posted at www.theletstalkmom.com and click on the radio show flower and then click on the " on air button and listen away!!!

When I reflect on the journey of the 444 posts, I also think back to the mid 1970's when our americans were held hostage in Iran for those 444 days. At the end of that journey, they gained their freedom. It took a lot of negotiations at the time to get them free and even a failed attempt to free them earlier. But they got their treasured freedom. '

And that is what this time of year represents us getting our cherished freedom as a country in being to live our lives in a free manner without being told what to do in the 1770's from King George of the country of England. For our nation had in its fledgling birth the guidance of our first President George Washington. It gave the new citizens freedom and the ability to live their lives independently.

Now just getting over on a boat and being crowded was quite a challenge I am sure. I sometimes have been trapped in a crowd and have had trouble seeing over the heads as to what was going on. For these pilgrims that made this across the ocean journey of many days had the fortitude and courage to stick it out.l

For life has given all of us some handicaps I am sure. But as I have unwrapped and dealt with each one, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has enabled me and those pilgrims back in the 1770's and even the hostages in the 1970's the ability to endure tough times.

For these do make us much stronger and I advocate for everyone to step out onto the stage of life and give it a shot. Even if it hurts greatly. For the score will be in our favor.
For our Lord reigns. And I am very thankful for that indeed!!!

Resting on the waters of God.

In one's lives, it is important how sometimes there are ugly storms out there.
I don't need to list them for we all know what they are. Just remember to feel what we feel. Even if we don't feel like it.
Remember that the stormy sea returns to normal after a while. Let the waves roll back and forth gently over your soul.

I gave these words of comfort to a friend.

Today, I felt angry when I could not fix something on one of my online applications and when i got disconnected by technical support. I returned a little calmer and realized that I could deselect something that I chose.
A trivial thing to get angry at. I have been a little negative lately Lord as I have not gotten my way sometimes.

The path has not been a smooth one during this unemployment. No ciriculum was handed to me during this awkward dance of a search for work. I did not know that there was a change in the I9 laws for proper identification cards thanks to Homeland Security this year. But these awkward turns in life are going to make me much stronger in this world.

Just as it has been for eons of time, the waves have crashed around the ocean each and every day.
Each wave uniquely different, just like snowflakes and even like our bodies. Made mostly of water. Water that shapes and nurtures and gives life to our souls.

Let the waters roll and as the hymnist has said, it is indeed well with my soul. Even as the waters billow around me at times.

Unfolding the path in life beautifully

Spring it is not. Autumn has arrived and is about to leave the station.
I am grateful for having passed through the heat of summer and now I am at the apex of Autumn to be supplanted with the arrival of the frigid weather of winter.
My brother already has been hit with 7 inches of snow in the midwest and I received a bit of sleet and wind and snow for the brevity of last Monday morning.

For the path that I have been on has unfolded beautifully.
I was interviewed this Sunday afternoon for the thanksgiving special of my friends show on parenting and marriage at www.theletstalkmom.com show. I was the special guest talking on how I grew up handicapped, overcoming my initial diagnosis of having arrested hydrocephalus. It was good to recall with my friends how I overcame the many obstacles and even having a chance to explain my expertise of bowling a perfect game one Tuesday afternoon while at the Nutmeg Lanes. Sorry, for those who think I can hit 11 strikes in a row. My expertise was throwing 20 straight balls into the gutter. Bowling experts may need to apply elsewhere in obtaining someone for their shows on ESPN!

I even got to go to an inauguaral concert at one of the first local churches that our family visited. It was the inauguaral concert for the $880,000 organ that was built for their congregation. The organist commented that it replaced the toaster oven that was there before and thanked those who gave for the organ which was disposed of.

So overall, a great weekend of music and a weekend of being thankful in advance of our church's thanksgiving eve service.

My Bucket List

The bucket list is usually reserved for those who are about to face death. I have established an ongoing bucket list of things that I am going to accomplish. Usually, these events are going to take time. I have been accomplishing many events that range in scope of exploring the arts in the Greater Bridgeport community to attending a variety of workshops at the job training centers.

Sticking the pole in the water

The other day I was chatting with my friend, Jim, and I informed him that I was going to put the pole in the water as I was going fishing. He wisely warned me that I should not place the pole into the water or I am going to scare the fish away.
When I was growing up as a child, Dad and I went fishing off the sides of our boat. Every once in awhile I did dip the pole into the water, curious, to see how it would look. I loved seeing the bent reflection of the pole in the water and how the beads of water would glisten off the pole in beads of it.
Yet, somehow that does not reflect well in the modern adult world. Especially with work. I am having to be patient in the process of finding my work. I never did like the idea of having to wait for a response or nibble from the mouth of a fish tugging on the line. Even now, I am not experiencing a lot of tugs on the line. When I did fish, I sometimes left the pole for a moment, only to wonder if the line got any activity.

While I have not actually plopped the pole deep into the water or even the line, I am now finally getting around to having a targeted list for this process.

Perfection

So many times I have seen people trying to attain perfection. Some just want to weigh the perfect weight and others want the perfect look or the perfect personality.

All these fall short. I many times have tried to do the perfect job on an invoice only to have a customer rip it to shreds. Or crafting the essay or opinion piece for a professor but only to find red ink all over it.

I am so thankful that Jesus is patient with me and my friends as we work out our salvation. I am so glad that He is not finished with me yet. For I am a work in progress. And so are you!!
It is at the resurrection of our souls that we are going to be able to be perfect. When God the Father declares us righteous because of what Jesus did on the cross for us!!!'

This is just one of the reflections that I have had in the past 24 hours as I have reflected on the value of life against the backdrop of death. It has been a rough year having gone through the passing of my dad 365 days ago. It has been a long journey of ups and downs with my emotions. But God is strong and I am so thankful for that. There is nothing that God can not handle. I am glad that I am not in His shoes. But I am to imitate Him.

Lord, Help me to imitate you ever more in the next 365 days so I can stand amazed at where you will be taking me in getting me past the desert I am in now and bring me to the oasis where I can lay down in some green pastures. Lord, be my Psalm 23 shepherd and I will be in your flock of mangy but beautiful sheep!!